A guide for the soul
Ten years ago, Julie was feeling lost after going through a painful divorce. The young mother of three was angry, fearful and sad, and she felt her relationship with God and her Catholic faith slipping away.
“God and I were not on good terms,” she remembers.
Then, she learned about Catholic spiritual direction. The practice pairs people with trained professionals who help them examine their relationship with God, their pursuit of holiness, and the work of the Holy Spirit in their lives.
She began meeting monthly with a spiritual director in the Charlotte area. In hour-long sessions, they talked about her life experiences and the trouble she was having with faith. Those initial sessions grew into a years-long spiritual direction relationship that has helped Julie feel renewed – in both her daily life and her relationship to God and the Church.
“I needed somebody else to find it important for me to invest in my faith, because I was not at a place where I wanted to do that,” said Julie, who asked that only her first name be used to protect her identity. “It was so important to have her support in figuring out my unique situation and to help me to try to find my way back to faith.”
worth the effort
The process took time and work but was well worth the effort, she says.
“Very slowly and intentionally, I kind of rebuilt my faith one tiny little brick at a time,” Julie said. “I thought there were rules and regulations and boxes we were supposed to check to earn God’s love, and I learned that those were not our faith.”
Many people like Julie in the Diocese of Charlotte have benefited from spiritual direction, and both guides and seekers encourage others interested in deepening their faith to explore the practice.
“Spiritual direction can have a profoundly positive effect on people’s lives by bringing you closer to Jesus,” said Bishop Michael Martin, OFM Conv. “It provides support and clarity during big life transitions, difficult decisions and periods of spiritual questioning. But it’s more than that: It helps people explore their beliefs and experiences more deeply – and can lead to greater self-awareness and a stronger sense of purpose.”
‘Sit with people’
Spiritual directors can be members of the clergy or lay people who receive specialized training. Formation programs vary from one to four years and include study of spirituality, theology and religious traditions, listening skills, ethics, and discernment practices. They also typically require supervised practice with seekers as well as their own personal spiritual practice, mentoring and ongoing education.
“It just really is a privilege to sit with people and to listen to their faith experiences, to walk with them on that journey,” said St. Peter parishioner Allain Andry, who became a spiritual director after going through a four-year formation program at Fairfield University in Connecticut.
St. Matthew parishioner Karen Scully also completed the Fairfield program and became a spiritual director in 2021.
“Spiritual direction is accompanying a person on their spiritual life,” Scully said. “How is God acting in your life? How is this being manifested? Or if you feel He is not in your life, and you want Him there, how do we respond to God’s call?”
“It’s all about accompanying someone on their spiritual journey, having a discerning listener and a contemplative presence,” she said. “We try to dig a little deeper. It’s a way of deepening their relationship with God in a confidential, solemn, holy space.”
Benedictine Father Elias Correa-Torres, who teaches physical sciences at Belmont Abbey College, started offering spiritual direction in response to requests from students and parishioners.
“Spiritual direction can be very helpful,” he said, “especially for those who are serious about seeking God and a life dedicated to Him.”
Trusting and listening
Many people seek spiritual direction when going through discernment, either for a religious vocation, marriage or for another major life event, Father Correa-Torres said.
Others are looking to deepen their prayer lives or to discover how God is working in life’s challenges.
He asks seekers what they are looking for and then offers insights.
“I bring in a lot of Scripture and a lot of information from the lives of the saints for perspective,” he said. “It is a matter of trusting God’s presence there, and listening. … I know
I don’t have all the answers – we’re relying on God. I will often pray in the middle of a session asking for the Holy Spirit to guide me.”
As Julie relates, “This is my individual journey … she’s not leading me. She just comes along beside me for one hour a month. There is never any judgment … she turns the reflection back and asks questions: ‘What do you think God is trying to tell you? How do you feel called to do the next thing in your life?’ It’s a conversation where she and God and I are in the same spiritual space.”
Scully notes it is also important to remember what spiritual direction is not – it is not a substitute for mental health treatment or counseling, and it is different from preparing for the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
Spiritual directors, whether lay people or clergy, have their own guides. As a Benedictine priest, Father Correa-Torres is required to receive spiritual direction and meets with his director regularly. Both Andry and Scully regularly attend spiritual direction and meet monthly with a supervisor.
Quiet in a loud world
Many seeking spiritual direction say the experience helps them see God moving in their lives.
Jake Goduti, who grew up in Huntersville as a parishioner at St. Mark Parish, sought spiritual direction after he graduated from Franciscan University in Steubenville, Ohio.
His college years led him to take his faith more seriously, and he realized spiritual direction might help with the challenge of seeking God amid the distractions of adult life. He turned to the pastor who was there for him in his youth – Father John Putnam.
“Prayer can be a difficult journey, especially with how loud the world is, and Father Putnam was there to offer assistance,” Goduti said.
Goduti, a project coordinator in the diocese’s construction and real estate office, now attends St. Anne Parish in Charlotte and said the lessons he learned in spiritual direction still help him in daily life.
“I learned how to build a habit of being silent, listening for the movements of God through prayer,” he said. “Spiritual direction helped me to have the tools to know what God was calling me to do on a day-to-day basis, and what the peace of God feels like.”
For Julie, spiritual direction helped bring her back into relationship with God and with the faith she chose as a convert.
“It’s a conversation, a judgment-free zone for anybody whether they want to go a centimeter deeper in their faith or a mile deeper,” she said. “Really it is all about your individual journey.”
— Catholic News Herald
To learn more
To find a spiritual director, reach out to your parish, contact the Catholic Conference Center in Hickory, or visit sites including The Emmaus Center for Spirituality, www.emmauscenterforspirituality.com, and Ignatian Spiritual Direction Formation, www.worldonfireformationprogram.com.