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wolfeAt this year’s Grammy Awards, singers Sam Smith and Kim Petras generated headlines with a performance of their hit song, the title of which – “Unholy” – perfectly describes their performance.

The sensational headlines that followed were unsurprising. Kim Petras, a 30-year-old transgender singer-songwriter, has made waves for years, offering songs that are highly sexual in content and sometimes intentionally trolling Christian groups.

Garnering less attention, however, was a post-awards interview where the provocateur professed a youthful desire to be a part of religion, describing how that desire was met with rejection, and how that rejection eventually inspired “Unholy.”

When I heard that, I thought about the current bishops’ Synod on Synodality, which has become a subject of endless debate in the Church, especially as it moves ahead, continent by continent. What emerges from it will deeply impact how the Church understands and lives with the world – and living with the Kim Petrases of the world will be a part of that consideration. Is there a place for transgender people in our pews? Pope Francis, it seems, is saying yes – though as a Church we know it’s a complicated question.

Accompaniment and responsibility

Over the past 10 years, Pope Francis’ writings have addressed two ideas of the Christian life, both essential to his idea of synodality and inseparable from each other: “accompaniment” paired with “responsibility” for the people on the edges.

While many Catholics support Francis’ ideas of accompaniment, especially with regard to the poor, the mentally challenged, the irregularly married and the LGBTQ community, they seem to miss that Francis calls us, in that accompaniment, to not simply affirm their human dignity, but to offer loving guidance onto the path of Christ and the Church – for them to be united to the Church with the ultimate goal of pursuing holiness.

Pope Francis has denounced gender ideology, especially its being taught in schools, telling journalists during a 2016 in-flight press conference on his return from Georgia and Azerbaijan, “It is one thing if a person has this tendency … some people even change sex. But it is another thing to teach this in schools, in order to change people’s way of thinking.”

Yet his instruction remains directed toward accompaniment. Relating a 2016 encounter with a transgender individual who had been rejected by a priest with a curt

“Go to hell,” the pontiff said, “Tendencies or hormonal imbalances create many problems, and we have to take care not to say: ‘It doesn’t make any difference, let’s live it up.’ No, not at all. But for every case … accompany it, look into it, discern and integrate it. This is what Jesus would do today.” He concluded, “It is a human problem. And it must be resolved as best we can, always with the mercy of God, with the truth.”

In Pope Francis’ view, patient accompaniment can bring people into a relationship with Christ without compromising the substance of Church teaching. This is about more than simple tolerance of others. It is being “present” to them as Christ was present to sinners, and requires the participation of the whole Church: “An evangelizing community gets involved by word and deed in people’s daily lives; it bridges distances, it is willing to abase itself if necessary, and it embraces human life, touching the suffering flesh of Christ in others” (“Evangelii Gaudium,” 24).

This is a tall order. People like Kim Petras are growing in number around the globe. They struggle with faith, feel rejected when they voice their struggles, and leave the churches. They join groups that make just as many demands upon them but offer a sense of “community” that promises to be with them no matter what.

Our Church has struggled to offer the same. For too many, it is easier to simply repeat the Church’s teaching and then leave the marginalized to continue struggling alone. For too many of us, also, it is easier to simply denounce our teachings and call for revolution in the Christian life.

The way of community

Pope Francis has denounced both paths as “spiritual worldliness” (“Evangelii Gaudium,” 94) and proposed an often-ignored third way: the way of community within the Church that is “supportive, standing by people at every step of the way” on the path to Christ, “no matter how difficult or lengthy this may prove to be” (“Evangelii Gaudium,” 24).

Despite the confusion and arguments over synodality, this is a path we must pursue. Our questions and concerns surrounding this third way need addressing, but – to my own view – the task of accompaniment and responsibility is crucial to the question of synodality. It is urgent that the divided faithful get on the same page and, in a more united way, reach out to a world that is longing for God. That will mean accompanying and taking responsibility for each other already in the Church as much as for those in the world. Despite all the side-taking, we are family. If synodality is not the path that leads to working together, there may not be an alternative.

Kyril Wolfe is an aspiring scholar of theology and a teacher who currently lives in Minnesota. This column was written for OSV News.